The Three Selves

Introduction – Narrator

This is a story about a man who decided to split himself into three. Not a wise thing you might think, but this man was curious about himself. He started to see in his everyday life, that he wasn´t always the same person. At different moments totally different selves arised. Sometimes he felt shy, not like him at all, sometimes he felt confident and sometimes he was sad like the world rested on his shoulders.

He would busy himself in his library and laboratory, researching human behaviour and the emotions of man trying to work out how to perfect himself. What if he could bring this to humanity he thought, a way to be the best by drinking a potion. He tried experiment after experiment and a multitude of potions, and reading every book on the subject, littering his space with pages of words, and funny coloured liquids, after all he was an inventor.

One day he perfected the idea to split himself into these parts and isolate them so he could discover what was inside them and concocted a dangerous potion and using himself as the experiment.

Being a risk taker with potion in hand and knowing a spell he positioned himself and madness or courage drove him to lift the potion to his lips. He spoke some enchanted words at the setting of the sun…

“The elements of the Earth, come to me!
I wish to split myself in three!
And when the moon does rise tonight,
I wish to be put back together all right!”

And with that, the momentary darkness overthrew him, a crack of lightning struck him and all went quiet. He had split himself in three. He could hear his heartbeats beating all three of them. His three selves arose from the darkness…

A tall man dressed in finery, top hat and cane, looked down on the other two. He held himself tall and proud…While one of the other two, dressed in rags, looked up at him from his hunched position with anger and fear and gesturing the tall man to hide him. In the shadows was the third, quietly sitting and smiling behind the other two, a gentleness surrounded him.

It was a most unusual scene. They sat there for a time before one of them started speaking…

The Facade Self

((turns to hunched man, hurt self))
” Why are you sat hunched on the ground?
Get up and show your strength man and pride!
You should show the world you´re strong and able,
But instead you cower and hide…
Who am i? you might ask…Why do i say such things?
I am your facade i portray to the world…
A mask you want me to show them.
I keep your identity from being unfurled.
.
I am the smile on your face when you feel like crying.
I am the steel wall that is put before others anger.
I get you out of bed when you don´t feel like trying.
I am the one that is polite when all you feel is anger.
I dress how the world wants you to be,
So that you fit in and don´t stand out.
I am seen by the world as you want to be seen.
When you feel weak i show confidence and clout.
.
I am the mad man, that is arrogant and stern.
I beat my stick when you don´t get your way.
i chase and thrash, i hound and burn,
until people leave as they dare not stay.
I make people feel lesser so that you don´t have to.
You like my control and my power is irresistable.
I am the self defense that shields your form.
Your thirst for me is insatiable…
.
I fill your head with knowledge and words,
I polish your golden brain…
so that people won’t see your absurdity
or think you’re going insane.
I know you like me…
although you still cower and hide.
I’ve saved your status many times,
and got you some perks on the side.
.
At dances i bow to the ladies… ((bows to narrator))
I portray the you, youvé always wanted to be.
I charm and compliment and forget the maybe´s.
Where would you be without me?…
I hide your grief, your shame and your fears,
So that you never have to face them.
Then i put on a show for others to see,
And i wear this mask as an emblem.
((puts on a mask))
.
You are the hurt self i try to conceal.”
((Folds arms, turning his back on the hunched man))

The Hurt Self

((Gets up tentatively and talks to the back of the facade self))

” Yes i am the hurt self,
with head held low.
I rock myself to sleep sometimes,
when i feel safe and alone.
I am too afraid to show myself.
To show my rags and pain.
I prefer to hide behind you,
so people think i am sane.
.
I hide from the ladies…
I don’t want them to see me,
this wreck of a man…
devoid of love and cowardly.
one must not show weakness,
in this world of madness,
so I sit behind you,
and try to forget my sadness.
.
But oh! i feel this hurts too much,
to keep this charade going.
I sometimes long to be real,
No matter what ugliness is showing.((points to facade))
I am scared of many things…
I am not as brave as you show…
If i were true, what would people think,
of me cowering down below.
.
This pain in my soul has stacked up and up,
it has stunted my feet from walking.
And though my mind is full of books,
I am tired of this intellectual talking.
In this mirror is a sad man,
one that wants to cry.
and cry if i am not allowed to do…
then surely I must die.
.
No!…
It’s just pain…
Emotional but real…
It’s true…
.
I am sad and aggrieved.
My tears could fill a river.
People would find it hard to believe,
and at the thought of it i shiver.
But in those moments i have let go
and let my weakness consume me,
i felt an openness to something real,
a little light shone through me.

((Cowers again on the ground and rocks himself back and forth))

Oh the battle between this mask and my true feelings
I don´t know what to do.
Is there no hope for me to see this through “

The Real Self

((Real self gets up and crouches by hurts self’s side, then stands up and talks to him.))

“Oh hurt self, you beat yourself up
with things you cannot control.
Your pain and error must be felt
before you will find me, your real self, in your soul.
I am the real self, the inspirer, the creator,
full of passions and desires unfulfilled.
I smile at the world from the truest place,
with no thought for me to be concealed.
(( facade self shakes head or raises arms up in disgust at real self))
.
I am the real you with qualities and passions,
your real personality waiting to thrive.
I am the moments of kindness, the love that you give,
the moments that you come alive.
I am the real you without childhood trauma.
I have faith and courage in my being.
I live in wonder at the good of creation.
My life is oh so freeing!…
.
I dance as if life was never ending,
I dress the way I’ve always wanted to look.
There are no closed doors, the paths are clear.
My life is an open book.
I travel, happily, onwards and upwards
on a continuous, glorious, adventure.
Everything is a lasting discovery
in this ever loving venture.
.
I love unconditionally myself and my kin
and lend them a hand when they fall.
I am the stars in your eyes, the breath of warmth,
the compassion you sometimes wish to give all.
I am the real self i sit and wait
for the other selves to resolve,
and find me and bring me forward.
I wish for your pain to dissolve…
.
Let me step into the light,
create joy and happiness for you,
so that i can be how i was designed to be,
but this… is up to you.
.
so let go of your mask and feel your pain,
and you will find me through and through.

The Dance

And with that the three selves started bickering and arguing with each other. Dancing with each other in a strange conflicting moment. They were one but not quite one at the same time.

(Dance here to Waltz)

The Moon rose higher in the sky and as they danced they became more and more unified getting closer and closer together again. Each step resistive to this reunion, each swirl reluctantly bringing them back together. They fought it but an energy more powerful than them brought them back together again.

Conclusion

Narrator

And as the moon rose high in the sky. All went black as it did before the lightning struck between them and he awoke on the ground, back together again. He was tired and shocked from what had occurred. Scratching his head he got up and wondered who he was right now, The facade self, The hurt self, or his real self. He could see everyone around him had the same dilemma.

Which self did he prefer?

The choice for him felt simple, the facade self or the real self, one required no more effort than carrying on, but the other required he pass through his hurt self in order to reach it. He reasoned the real self should be his goal no matter what he had to face to get there. The facade although looking good was hollow inside and false, the real self was radiating good from the inside out.

What an insight the man had had into the facets of himself. He felt inspired to throw off his facade, to feel his pain and become his real self. He now could see which self he was in and work to resolve it. He walked off into the distance more real than he had ever been and becoming realer and happier with every step.

He saw his design and accepted it.

-End-

(Written by Laura Berry)

Journey of a Soul (5 poems)

1. When she was Young

She was born into the world
With a smile that could melt the sun
And eyes as deep as the oceans
Her spirit as precious as a pearl
Everything was new
Everything she touched was a new feeling
Everything she saw expanded her eyes
Everything was fascinating to pursue
.
Every step she trod was a new path
With wonder around every corner
Joy and happiness in the smallest things
And no limit to her endearing laugh
And as her feet grew more sure
She no longer walked but ran
Through the long grass
And the meadows before her
.
Feeling the stems and soft leaves
Through her fingers as she went
The sunlight above her
The grasses swaying in the breeze
Like earthly ocean waves
Calling her to new shores
Over the hill and over the horizon
To a wooded enclave
.
And there she learned her hands
Picking sticks and cones
Making structures with imagination
Copying herself in a stickman grand

(hopefully get to 1:50 at this point)

Laughing she ran on
Entertaining herself was easy
There was so much to do and be
And her heart sang a song
.
She learnt to twirl and dance
Making friends as she went
Each friend adding a colour to her palette
Each with the same chances
She trusted with an open heart
Learnt how to comfort another
How to play and work together
Her imagination did never depart
.
She could be whatever she wanted to be
She soared with wings
And went on adventures
Her dreaming was so free

(pause male singer, start again at 2:50)
(can slow down reading a bit now)

No challenge was impossible to her
And when she fell she would get up
Again…and again…and again
Sometimes leaning on another
But always getting stronger
And learning more and more
She was allowed to create herself
And played for longer
.
Her personality started to shine
As the sun smiled on her
Her tastes and passions grew
And as she flew she felt fine
She moved with the flow
No thought to control…just be
Like a sponge she absorbed the world
Swept along by the tides of the sea
.
Catching her she rode the surf
The water cradling her if she fell
No fear to try something new
Just desire and a knowing worth
The mysteries of life spurred her on
Like a never ending adventure
Not aware of time
Or the path however long
.
All was endless fun
With light and colours clear
Her life was free to roam
Under an ever burning sun

(small pause)

She bathed in the joys of being young….

2 . Broken Innocence 

Her innocence couldn´t stay for long
For as she grew things happened
A taunt, a comment, a judgement wrong
With humiliation she was battered
And her soul absorbed it all
The light started to dim
That she once shone through her posture tall
But now she curled her wings
.
She no longer ran through the fields
But walked with her head held low
Hands across her heart as a protective shield
Her steps were heavied and slow
The promise of what she could be shattered
She lost sight of her beckoning dreams
With her curiosity dented and battered
From absorbing the unloving things
.
And as she grew into a lady fair
No light did make its return
But the people around her didn´t care
And forced her to believe their burns
For she was different than humanity wanted her to be
She danced and sang and tried the new
And man punished her accordingly
Turning her hopes to blue
.
And like a dying flame
She tried to nurse it strong
With sadness she would never be the same
Quashing the flickering song
The demands of men pulled her down
And trod on her spirit pure
She questioned leaving town
But realised the same people were on the other shore

(At 1:36 in reach this point hopefully)
.
The sun had now eclipsed
She sat in the dirty soil
For there were no rescuing ships
To take her from her turmoil
And as her inspiration collapsed on the floor
And her heart shattered to pieces
And her dreams evaporated to no more
And her trust wrinkled and creased
.
She carried a weight she should never have had
Across her back it hurt
With calluses and wounds that made her sad
And rips across her shirt
She was no longer free but trapped
A caged animal walking through life
Now she was just like them and they clapped
Whilst she carried pain and strife
.
And as an adult it compacted
And tightened in her heart
And as her heart contracted
The pain of love did smart
A once pure soul was broken
And the light dimmed to black
And no positive words spoken
Could help her get it back
.
She became like those around her
Tired, numb and forlorn
There was no more fight within her
The eclipse did not move for a dawn
She walked the world unsettled
Those joyous things she no longer did feel
Being constantly stung by nettles
In the hope that she would feel real

Love was lost
Faith in herself gone
No more singing
And no more songs

3. Broken Humanity

She sat in the darkness
Her knees to her chest
Rocking back and forth
Not taking any rest
All she could hear was thumping
.
Thumping
Thumping
Thumping of her heart
Thumping of war drums
Thumping of greedy voices
Thumping of starving stomachs
.
She felt sick to her core
For there was no love on the Earth
That could reach her anymore
The pained faces of man filled her eyes
Bodies discarded in conflict
Against a red bloodied sky
.
Tossed without a care for who they once were
Pure souls wasted over something fickle
Money
Property
Resources
And the insane gathered all their forces
.
No matter what life stood in their way
To get what they wanted
Cold and callused hearts
That didn’t want to be confronted
The life blood of their mother
Ripped from the ground
And as the trees fell
She couldn’t make a sound
.
And in horror
At what humanity had become
She curled into a ball
Underneath her dying sun
.
The power of unlove felt greater
Than all the positive she could remember
It felt fierce and strong like iron
The souls behind with the will of a lion
The hunters and hunted were everywhere
In the palaces and courts and in the little homes
People played with power like a toy
Choosing not to listen to the groans
.
And as the darkness crescendoed
She realised she was not the only one
For everyone was the victim to this madness
And everyone had lost their sun
And her heart beat harder
And harder
And harder
.
With anger she rose to her feet
And picked up a wooden chair
And she smashed it into pieces
She could not take any more despair
And as the splinters fell
She collapsed like a spent horse
She sobbed and she cried her heart out
With cries to God of remorse
.
If there was a God she didn’t know
But in the moment it felt right
The darkness couldn’t remain
She had to find a light
This couldn’t be the truth
Of how the world was meant to be
And although the darkness was heavy
She needed to be free
.
Her soul had been dirtied and bruised and sore
But maybe she could heal it
If she understood things more
Blinded by the black
She felt along the walls
Carefully stepping over the fallen
Not wanting to hurt them more
.
She reached a dark Glade
Bathed in a soft blue light
Grateful for the reprieve
From the never ending night
A desire started to burn
To find answers as to why
This didn’t seem somehow real
That humanity was like this
And had forgotten how to feel
.
The fallen tried to grab her
And grasp her ankles as she moved
Desperate for a hand
And for the pain in their hearts removed
But she could only take herself
To the soft glowing light
And watched their hands fall back
And looked at their faces of fright
.
With compassion she left them
And came to a place of new
The light beckoned discovery
An answer to her prayer ensued
A healing light did fill her
A balm both welcome and light
Her heart still heavy was open
To new possibilities and sights
.
She journeyed on through this land
Seeking answers and aid
And with the black receding
She sighed relief for the first time in an age
To leave the darkness was a choice
One she had to make
And only for herself
Could she start to awake
Awake
Awake
.
She looked back in sadness
And moved on
More sure of her feet
Towards the blue lights song

4 . Hope Anew

A land of dusk, the blackness gone
Moonlight filtered down
Through shadows she wandered on
Looking at the ground
The light made the shadows dance
Each shadow a pain of humanity
But rather than standing in a solid stance
They were flickering in and out of reality
.
She carefully stepped around the shadows
Questioning the solidity of pain
Until she reached cowslips, rows upon rows
Lit by the moonlights Ray’s
Luminous they grew
Against the blueish dusk
With colour bringing hope Anew
Held strong by an unseen trust
.
How could flowers bloom in the dark?
She questioned the unusual scene
But she knew deep down like the ridges of bark
That this is what she could be
She came to an open clearing
With a sage sat amongst a crowd
The crowd was listening and cheering
As the sage spoke his words aloud
.
He spoke of the freewill choice of man
To step into a universal light
A stranger beckoned her sit and took her hand
While the sage spoke of the energy of life
She sat there, she knew not how long
She learned about karma, how you reap what you sow
And how the universe responds
To this ebb and to this flow
.
To her side she spotted a deer
Enchanted she followed it quietly
Leaving the sage and behind the cheers
She tiptoed ever so silently
The deer led her to a clearing
With a wise man smiling beyond
She couldn´t believe what she was seeing
As he spoke to an invisible throng
.
He said take a seat and listen
That he was speaking to the dead
And as his eyes did glisten
He smiled and scratched his head
He spoke about the spirit world
And how life was eternal
And as his words did unfurl
she was gripped by a revelation
.
She could see the spirits now, sitting on the ground
They looked like normal everyday folk
There were so many of them around
Their voice full of emotion when they spoke
The wise man said that love was the key
And that only by ourselves could it be gained
And that it would bring us happiness for eternity
And relieve us from our pains
.
That love was within us, we could nurture it strong
To a perfected natural man
That love could undo all the wrongs
And crush our rock hearts to sand
And as the sand would sift away
It would leave a heart more pure
As the coming of the sun at the start of the day
We could walk in love so sure
.
Uplifted she wandered on
And she practiced everyday
She changed her thoughts from bad to good
But the pain was still there and stayed
She called out to God frustrated
How do we remove this pain?
And then she remembered the chair she smashed
And how this light she gained
.
A humble man appeared before her
Dressed in robes of grey
He told her the way is within her
And it was feeling the pain that took it away
That we cannot rescue those around us
Until they want to be real
And so we must work on ourselves
And be an example of how to feel
.
He took her hand and led her to a glade
Where the night was black but full of light
From stars of pure light made
Shining with clarity and might
It was purer than the moonlight
Its energy was full of life
The stars in abundance were such a sight
She was ready to be shown a new life
.
She watched in awe
And bathed in the starlight pure

5 . Dances Among the Stars

The moon illuminated her night
With the gentlest and softest of light
As the stars twinkled into being
She looked up in awe at what she was seeing
A shooting star flashed overhead
Beckoning her to go where noone had tread
She lifted her face and outstretched her arms
A feeling surrounded her like love embalmed
.
As light as a feather her feet left the ground
Leaving the earth behind and making no sound
The starlight warm welcomed her in
The moon by her side its light getting dim
The black velvet expanse whispered come explore
I will show you life once more
Her body weightless and looking at her feet
She smiled and moved to a scintillating beat
.
And as she danced among the stars
Planets gathered from near and far
Their magnificence filled her with awe
As she danced across the starlit floor
She traveled through thought and time
And listened to ancient voices sublime
Speaking of truths the world forgot
Of life and energy and love begot
.
And as she watched stars be birthed
Light surrounded her and showed her her worth
The colours of their cradles called her in
And she took all the colours and held them within
Filled with love and light she outstretched her finger
With inspiration full she did not linger
And as she danced she painted stars
A beautiful galaxy from within her heart
.
And when she was done
She basked in the light of her painted suns
All she was not…faded to black
And all she could be was coming back
Filled with new life she twirled happily
As her eyes opened she started to see
Looking back at the blue marble from whence she was conceived
That she was more than what she believed
.
A spark of love began to grow
For the happy seeds that she did sow
Life was in her for her to create
With the might of the galaxies in her wake
She danced in wonder for a bit longer
Feeling her heart getting stronger
Suspended in a blanket of love
The stars gave her a little nudge
.
And as she floated back through time and space
The stars and planets like woven lace
Set her on a journey to embark
To weave her universe across her heart
And shine it forth both near and far
And to become her own bright star
And from her dream she did not awake
But lived it and shone it great
.
She still dances among the stars

Laura Berry,

(virtual performance can be viewed in the performance tab)